Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Random Thoughts
Random Thoughts (really) - 10/10/2002
I'm not sure where to begin, because I don't know where I'm leaving off really. My thoughts go quickly...they flow fast...they are often random, rambling and in no certain order. one thing leads to another. I sometimes have the most horrible thoughts too. Sometimes I think that there is no way that I think the things I do. Sometimes things on TV just freak me out. Sometimes I feel so weird, I freak myself out - and that's not a good thing to do. Sometimes I get paranoid, and I just don't know what's going on. sometimes I jump to conclusions without knowing the full story. I assume stuff too much, and I know that I do.
i have realized a lot about myself here lately, and I've realized that despite my best efforts not to be the one to cause some of the problems in my relationship - it was definitely partially my fault. I can't deny that I have my own quirks that I have to work out. There are times when I don't understand myself or my feelings, and sometimes I don't even feel like I really feel anything. I think I'm genuinely a nice person. I do try to do unto others...sometimes I just let the most idiotic things get a hold of me, and then I do something really stupid... and then I don't know what in the world is going on.
But I guess that's okay. you never know what tomorrow brings, I guess. Maybe I'm normal after all.
I just try to do the best I can, but sometimes I get sidetracked. And sometimes I try to offset my bad karma with good karma but I don't know if it works that way. I don't know how that karma thing works, though I do believe that it happens. Then again sometimes I think I might believe in reincarnation. But that doesn't work with Christianity, does it? Then again, I read all these books and they just fill my head with the most stupid thoughts in the world.
So, my good deed for the day has been to buy condolence cards for my boss whose ex-husband is dying. They were supposed to take him off life support yesterday… I think I might buy some flowers too… Double good karma….
Thankful... I'm thankful for a lot of things that happened internally to me throughout the process of the past few weeks... I am really thankful for the internal transformation and the self-confidence I somehow got out of it--however crazy it might sound. There was a time when I was really unhappy but then I did some realizing. And then I was also blaming someone else for my problems when I could not blame that person really. As my mother said when we broke up, one of the many times we do, "now you can't blame him if you don't do something" and that was true. And then there came the point when I realized that is exactly what I was doing, and I wanted to work it out. I keep saying I feel like he doesn't want to try and he says, do you have to try so hard? meaning, why is it so hard - why should we have to try, it should just work. There are a lot of reasons why that is true. We are very compatible, in a lot of ways, and that's the truth.
There have been times when we've struggled, but I think a lot of the problems were in my head, and not in reality. It's so strange to me to be admitting something like that. But that's how this works, I guess...
It doesn't matter how many bones I buy my freaked out dogs, they still seem to want to chew on my shoes... that really pisses me off...
there are so many websites that I am going to visit to post more things on the front page of the diary...i think that it's going to be kind of neat...at least I am hoping that it will... who knows?? I want to know how to do all the cool stuff that other people have on their diaries. I am interested in knowing more about all of this stuff... it's so strange to me... and there are other things that are strange to me...
seinfeld is probably the most realistic show there ever has been, but then again, that is just my opinion... even though crazy things happened, there are crazy things that happen every single day in the real world. the fact that it was often about nothing, but about something really makes me think that it's probably the best comedy show ever... I have laughed until I almost peed on myself watching that show. even now, I just love to watch the reruns of the show and I have almost 10 tapes full of reruns that I've recorded... I'd love to be able to just find the set of all of the episodes, like for the first season.. I've seen the sopranos..I've seen sex and the city..I've seen FRIENDS, but I haven't seen SEINFELD yet. And you just really have to love that show. I can't think of anyone who has ever watched it who doesn't like it, but I would bet there is at least one person in the world who likes that show.
Phillip Morris.... Tax Deductible?
Philip Morris - Tax Deductible?? - 10/10/2002
So, I'm watching the news and I see this lady in California got $28 billion dollars from Philip Morris for smoking and now she has terminal cancer of the lungs and liver. I'm thinking, "hmmmm.... I should probably stop smoking".... And then I grabbed my pack of Marlboros... So, am I logical to think that because I smoke cigarettes made by Philip Morris therefore paying off this $28 billion dollar judgment to this woman, who is then going to give the money to go to helping keep children from smoking and stuff like that.... Well, I don't really want kids smoking either - it's a bad habit to have. Believe me, I know. I'm 23 with the lungs of an unhealthy 60-year old... So, I'm wondering if maybe I am in effect contributing to charity...and can I claim this on my taxes? If so, that means I can write off my cigarettes... I smoke over a pack a day... That amounts to a lot of money, that is for sure. I wonder..... well, logically it works, but legally it probably doesn't. Maybe I should ask H&R Block. They'll probably think I'm crazy, but hell, the IRS gave out fucking a shitload of money to some black people for a slave clause in the tax law that never even existed.... How retarded are those people up there, I wonder... if they do that sort of thing, surely they can let me write off my cigarettes... jeez... it's not THAT much... If that got out there though, and they had to do that for all the smokers out there - apparently around 46 million adults - then I'd be willing to bet somehow Congress would have to step in because that would be screwing around with their money (tax dollars)... Then cigarettes would be outlawed, like prohibition.....
I did think it was funny though that there was the testimony of the CEO of Philip Morris in 1998 saying if someone would prove to him that smoking cigarettes had caused one person to die, then he'd shut down the doors to his factories. Yeah, right, isn't Marlboro the #1 kind of cigarette in the country...??? That is a huge company, making tons and tons of $$$$$$. They own KRAFT, I think. As in Kraft Macaroni & Cheese... hahahaha....
It would be a nice tax right off though... It's a thought, damnit....
Crazy, Crazy, Crazy
Crazy, Crazy... - 10/9/2002
I feel completely horrible for what I’ve done. I feel like my conscious can't take it anymore, but then I remember that if I do say something I’m going to lose someone I love very much. That makes me so freaking angry sometime... I don't want to lose him. I try to remember those people who say, if you tell that will only make you feel better but the other person feel worse. And I don't want to make anything worse; I want to make it better. I understand what I've done is so very wrong, and I am not the best person in the world.
But at the same time, gees, I didn't really do anything THAT horrible. I didn't kill anyone though. I sometimes can't quite understand the things that (A) said what he said about me. All of the things I read on his diary sometimes just - I just didn't know what to say.
Sometimes I thought it could work, but (A) is a real - chameleon. He says what you want to hear, and he acts how he thinks he's coming off to you, but in real life it just doesn't work out like that. He’s not what he seems on this OD thing. That really is the truth. He comes on here, to more or less, publicly gain sympathy for something that is not exactly as he described it. Yeah, I knew his feelings for me, and yeah, I told him I felt something, but I never said anything more than that. He heard what he wanted to hear, and he knows that inside. It really pisses me the fuck off that he just goes around saying shit like that to get people to agree with him, but he's not telling the whole story ever and he fucking knows it. He jades what really happened by pointing at me for everything. As if I’m the most horrible, cold-hearted bitch in the world, and I know I’m not.
I just don't quite understand that crazy motherfucker. I am really telling the truth. He never ever said anything that he did during all of this. Yeah, he would say when he would just scream at me, but he would just throw these horrible tantrums sometimes. I mean, he would guilt trip me, and I was just like... arg...
I don't know. I did care and I was confused, and I believed him, but I never felt right, and I know he knew it. I am sure he felt it. He did know it. I tried to make him feel better, but it never worked like I thought it was going to work. I am not in-love with him. He just has to know that and understand that. Yeah, there were times when I thought there were overwhelming feelings, but now, I think they were just a mirage.
I was seeing him as I saw him in my head, simply because of how we met -- online. My God, people do not realize how different it is sometimes when you meet someone you met this way. It is so strange. If you've never done it, then you'll never understand, but if you have, then you will. It's never the same, and usually it's not going to work. When you're face to face with someone, you can't fake anything.
And he really did break down to me sometimes, and I felt, just, compelled to try to make him feel better. I swear, it really got on my nerves. In some ways it was worse the BF. I was so fucking pissed off too a lot of the time. (A) had me fucking stressed out like you wouldn't believe so much of the time with the things he'd say to me. Nobody on this freaking OD knows this shit, but of course he's not going to say it and I'm really not going to say it under a name where I know he's going to look and read. He says he won't but I certainly know better than that. I am done with this shit, as far as he's concerned. He really scared me sometimes and I knew that there were times when he would get really depressed. He did have horrible mood swings and it would just get on my nerves. It was worse than anything else. I was just drained from having to deal with him. Yes, I wanted someone to talk to, but I obviously got in over my head. The more I tried to stop it, he kept on, and I was just an idiot to even get involved in all his crap. I knew what he was dealing with a long time ago, and that's why we didn't talk for a while, and you know, it's okay if we don't ever talk again. Perhaps we will, perhaps we won't. There’s really no telling and sometimes I think I don't even really care all that much if we do. I mean, sure I did care, but the more I think about it, I was really just not in the position to be talking to someone like him. I mean, he's just too intense for me, especially right now. I trusted him as a friend and he used that stuff against me, and I know it. I knew he would, and he said he wouldn't but I shouldn't have trusted him. He kept on saying that shit about how I should trust him, but now that I think about it, he was just using some sort of mind manipulation to get what he wanted. I really can't stand him anymore for that, though I do hope all of the best for him.
At some point, he'll be happy, but I’m not going to have to deal with that crap anymore, and that's good, actually, even though I do miss him terribly sometimes.
I feel completely horrible for what I’ve done. I feel like my conscious can't take it anymore, but then I remember that if I do say something I’m going to lose someone I love very much. That makes me so freaking angry sometime... I don't want to lose him. I try to remember those people who say, if you tell that will only make you feel better but the other person feel worse. And I don't want to make anything worse; I want to make it better. I understand what I've done is so very wrong, and I am not the best person in the world.
But at the same time, gees, I didn't really do anything THAT horrible. I didn't kill anyone though. I sometimes can't quite understand the things that (A) said what he said about me. All of the things I read on his diary sometimes just - I just didn't know what to say.
Sometimes I thought it could work, but (A) is a real - chameleon. He says what you want to hear, and he acts how he thinks he's coming off to you, but in real life it just doesn't work out like that. He’s not what he seems on this OD thing. That really is the truth. He comes on here, to more or less, publicly gain sympathy for something that is not exactly as he described it. Yeah, I knew his feelings for me, and yeah, I told him I felt something, but I never said anything more than that. He heard what he wanted to hear, and he knows that inside. It really pisses me the fuck off that he just goes around saying shit like that to get people to agree with him, but he's not telling the whole story ever and he fucking knows it. He jades what really happened by pointing at me for everything. As if I’m the most horrible, cold-hearted bitch in the world, and I know I’m not.
I just don't quite understand that crazy motherfucker. I am really telling the truth. He never ever said anything that he did during all of this. Yeah, he would say when he would just scream at me, but he would just throw these horrible tantrums sometimes. I mean, he would guilt trip me, and I was just like... arg...
I don't know. I did care and I was confused, and I believed him, but I never felt right, and I know he knew it. I am sure he felt it. He did know it. I tried to make him feel better, but it never worked like I thought it was going to work. I am not in-love with him. He just has to know that and understand that. Yeah, there were times when I thought there were overwhelming feelings, but now, I think they were just a mirage.
I was seeing him as I saw him in my head, simply because of how we met -- online. My God, people do not realize how different it is sometimes when you meet someone you met this way. It is so strange. If you've never done it, then you'll never understand, but if you have, then you will. It's never the same, and usually it's not going to work. When you're face to face with someone, you can't fake anything.
And he really did break down to me sometimes, and I felt, just, compelled to try to make him feel better. I swear, it really got on my nerves. In some ways it was worse the BF. I was so fucking pissed off too a lot of the time. (A) had me fucking stressed out like you wouldn't believe so much of the time with the things he'd say to me. Nobody on this freaking OD knows this shit, but of course he's not going to say it and I'm really not going to say it under a name where I know he's going to look and read. He says he won't but I certainly know better than that. I am done with this shit, as far as he's concerned. He really scared me sometimes and I knew that there were times when he would get really depressed. He did have horrible mood swings and it would just get on my nerves. It was worse than anything else. I was just drained from having to deal with him. Yes, I wanted someone to talk to, but I obviously got in over my head. The more I tried to stop it, he kept on, and I was just an idiot to even get involved in all his crap. I knew what he was dealing with a long time ago, and that's why we didn't talk for a while, and you know, it's okay if we don't ever talk again. Perhaps we will, perhaps we won't. There’s really no telling and sometimes I think I don't even really care all that much if we do. I mean, sure I did care, but the more I think about it, I was really just not in the position to be talking to someone like him. I mean, he's just too intense for me, especially right now. I trusted him as a friend and he used that stuff against me, and I know it. I knew he would, and he said he wouldn't but I shouldn't have trusted him. He kept on saying that shit about how I should trust him, but now that I think about it, he was just using some sort of mind manipulation to get what he wanted. I really can't stand him anymore for that, though I do hope all of the best for him.
At some point, he'll be happy, but I’m not going to have to deal with that crap anymore, and that's good, actually, even though I do miss him terribly sometimes.
Phenomenal Woman!
I am not much of a poet, nor do I usually care for poetry. But this has been my favorite poem for over 20 years now.
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
BY MAYA ANGELOU
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips
I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man,
The fellows stand or fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet
I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch my inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.'
Cause I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
BY MAYA ANGELOU
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips
I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man,
The fellows stand or fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet
I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch my inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.'
Cause I'm a WOMAN
PHENOMENALLY
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
That's ME.
Lately.
Lately... - 10/9/2002
There is no real way to explain everything that has happened here lately.
I feel incredibly guilty over what I’ve done to the BF, and it truly hurts me. I don't quite understand why I did those things, but I did. And then I hurt the other guy and that's not a good thing either. It’s like I’m just setting myself up for bad karma. That’s not a good thing. I mean, it's just not. Karma does come back to bite you on the ass, and I am truly not looking forward to getting that bite. But then sometimes I think that maybe my actions were as a result of some bad karma that someone else might have built up themselves. Sometimes we do get paid back and we don't even really know it. Everything happens for a reason. That is the only mantra that I will stand by forever. Even when there seems to be no explanation, there always is one. Sometimes it's just not in the blueprint of your life. Sometimes you have to understand that there is someone else in control of your life. Of course, I don't mean a human being, but a spiritual being. Sometimes it's hard to really have the faith that we, as people, need to have. Sometimes when things get bad, I certainly am guilty of not having any faith in anything, least of all myself. There are times when I just would like to run as fast as I could from all of the problems that I seem to have in my life -- until I realize the problem is me and not anyone else. There is nobody to blame for what I’ve done. There is nobody left to blame. Everyone else would disagree with me. They’ve seen what I’ve endured; they've seen the pain I’ve gone through. They think that other people are to blame and I’m not totally to blame. I can't deny the fact that I’m not the best person in the world, there is no doubt about that.
I’ve realized a lot of things here lately and those realizations are not easily dealt with.
I realized that I cause a lot of my own problems because of my own head - my own crazy, over-thinking head. No, I’m not really crazy. I’m actually very normal, very nice, and very friendly, funny and charming. I am a bit above average, if you ask me, but who isn't supposed to think that about themselves?
I think that I’ve realized that no matter how hard you try, you can't be whatever someone else wants you to be, especially if you don't really FEEL it in your heart. It’s hard to live up to expectations that you really don't "want" to live up to. It’s really hard to do that. It’s hard to be someone you don't want to be for a long time for someone you realize you don't really like.
there are times when I don't really know why I would risk what I did, for the person I did, and though I know there was indeed some reason for it, hopefully it was to bring my BF and I closer. He’s done so much to push me away for so long, that I’ve just drove me insane completely.
There is no understanding all of the feelings that I have for my BF. I mean, the more I think about it, the more I realize there were so many things that I did wrong, and that really did hurt me. And it still does. I am going to try to make the best of things, and I hope that things will work out. I really blew a lot of things out of proportion when it came to him. I mean if it had only been the drinking then I could understand, but there were some other issues that I never really felt confident about. There were some other things that had happened, some things with his ex-girlfriend that really did hurt me. And he would defend her. He never seemed to want to defend me when it came to anything. I loved him, and I did adore him. I tried my best to be everything that he wanted, and then eventually, I grew a bit tired and I just shouldn't have given up, and now I am glad to have another chance because I really want to make this work, and I really think that it can. He seems to be happy and that really makes me feel good. I love him so much, and I want to be with him and I want him to be with me *and I want us to be happy*. I know that is dependent upon so much other stuff, but... oh well... I guess you never really know what in the world might happen.
I am hoping that things will be okay. I am hoping that things will fall into place as they are supposed to, but I want to be with my BF very much. I want this to work. I want to make things work, and as far as I can tell, we do get along good actually. I have learned not to be so jealous. I've learned not to be so angry all the time. I've learned not to take my anger out on him. I've also learned to try to talk about things that are bothering me rather than holding them inside. The pain I felt always came out as anger and I would lash out at him for the stupidest things. I love him more than anything, and I really am hoping that things will work out. I mean, we've been together a long time. Sure, we've had problems, but I am hoping us getting back together this time will be a success. I mean, we do love each other so very much. I know I adore him. I want to be with him more than ever, and when I realized that - it was so weird, a strange feeling came over me. I realized that I was just a big idiot about everything that happened. I am really going to try this time. I am going to do right, and I am not going to be anything but good. I mean, sure before I was good, but now I'm going to be better. I was hurt, and I retaliated and I am very sorry.
There is no real way to explain everything that has happened here lately.
I feel incredibly guilty over what I’ve done to the BF, and it truly hurts me. I don't quite understand why I did those things, but I did. And then I hurt the other guy and that's not a good thing either. It’s like I’m just setting myself up for bad karma. That’s not a good thing. I mean, it's just not. Karma does come back to bite you on the ass, and I am truly not looking forward to getting that bite. But then sometimes I think that maybe my actions were as a result of some bad karma that someone else might have built up themselves. Sometimes we do get paid back and we don't even really know it. Everything happens for a reason. That is the only mantra that I will stand by forever. Even when there seems to be no explanation, there always is one. Sometimes it's just not in the blueprint of your life. Sometimes you have to understand that there is someone else in control of your life. Of course, I don't mean a human being, but a spiritual being. Sometimes it's hard to really have the faith that we, as people, need to have. Sometimes when things get bad, I certainly am guilty of not having any faith in anything, least of all myself. There are times when I just would like to run as fast as I could from all of the problems that I seem to have in my life -- until I realize the problem is me and not anyone else. There is nobody to blame for what I’ve done. There is nobody left to blame. Everyone else would disagree with me. They’ve seen what I’ve endured; they've seen the pain I’ve gone through. They think that other people are to blame and I’m not totally to blame. I can't deny the fact that I’m not the best person in the world, there is no doubt about that.
I’ve realized a lot of things here lately and those realizations are not easily dealt with.
I realized that I cause a lot of my own problems because of my own head - my own crazy, over-thinking head. No, I’m not really crazy. I’m actually very normal, very nice, and very friendly, funny and charming. I am a bit above average, if you ask me, but who isn't supposed to think that about themselves?
I think that I’ve realized that no matter how hard you try, you can't be whatever someone else wants you to be, especially if you don't really FEEL it in your heart. It’s hard to live up to expectations that you really don't "want" to live up to. It’s really hard to do that. It’s hard to be someone you don't want to be for a long time for someone you realize you don't really like.
there are times when I don't really know why I would risk what I did, for the person I did, and though I know there was indeed some reason for it, hopefully it was to bring my BF and I closer. He’s done so much to push me away for so long, that I’ve just drove me insane completely.
There is no understanding all of the feelings that I have for my BF. I mean, the more I think about it, the more I realize there were so many things that I did wrong, and that really did hurt me. And it still does. I am going to try to make the best of things, and I hope that things will work out. I really blew a lot of things out of proportion when it came to him. I mean if it had only been the drinking then I could understand, but there were some other issues that I never really felt confident about. There were some other things that had happened, some things with his ex-girlfriend that really did hurt me. And he would defend her. He never seemed to want to defend me when it came to anything. I loved him, and I did adore him. I tried my best to be everything that he wanted, and then eventually, I grew a bit tired and I just shouldn't have given up, and now I am glad to have another chance because I really want to make this work, and I really think that it can. He seems to be happy and that really makes me feel good. I love him so much, and I want to be with him and I want him to be with me *and I want us to be happy*. I know that is dependent upon so much other stuff, but... oh well... I guess you never really know what in the world might happen.
I am hoping that things will be okay. I am hoping that things will fall into place as they are supposed to, but I want to be with my BF very much. I want this to work. I want to make things work, and as far as I can tell, we do get along good actually. I have learned not to be so jealous. I've learned not to be so angry all the time. I've learned not to take my anger out on him. I've also learned to try to talk about things that are bothering me rather than holding them inside. The pain I felt always came out as anger and I would lash out at him for the stupidest things. I love him more than anything, and I really am hoping that things will work out. I mean, we've been together a long time. Sure, we've had problems, but I am hoping us getting back together this time will be a success. I mean, we do love each other so very much. I know I adore him. I want to be with him more than ever, and when I realized that - it was so weird, a strange feeling came over me. I realized that I was just a big idiot about everything that happened. I am really going to try this time. I am going to do right, and I am not going to be anything but good. I mean, sure before I was good, but now I'm going to be better. I was hurt, and I retaliated and I am very sorry.
Friday, May 20, 2016
25 Memorable Life Lessons to Perfect Your Life
25 Memorable Life Lessons to Perfect Your Life
life lessons to perfect your life
Life is full of surprises. But it’s also full of lessons if you’re willing to learn from it. Use these 25 life lessons to lead a perfect and happier life.
The magical thing about lessons in life is that you learn something new every day.
Some of these lessons you learn are small.
And some others, well, they can help you change your life forever.
With every failure or heartbreak that you experience, there’s a lesson to learn from it.
Most of us are so distraught by the failures of everyday life, that we fail to see the bright side of our own failures.
How can a failure ever have a bright side, you may ask.
But if you think deeper, every moment of pain, suffering or ecstatic happiness always leaves you with something to learn.
From the first time you burnt your finger on a flame to your last romance, every moment has taught you something new that you won’t forget. [Read: Easy steps to stop a selfish person from hurting you]
Life lessons from everyday life
While there may be many lessons that you’ve learnt every day in your life, in all probability, you would have forgotten most of them as soon as the moment passes.
And when you forget an important lesson in life, it has a way of coming right back into your life to teach you the same lesson all over again, until you don’t ever forget it.
But will you learn from that lesson? Or will you get distracted and overlook the lessons each time?
25 life lessons that can make a positive difference in your life
A lesson well learnt can help you in every aspect of your life. It can help you be more successful, more wary, and most importantly, more happy.
But if you want a list of great lessons that can truly help you change your life for the better, here are 25 real life lessons that you always need to remember. [Read: I have no idea on what to do with my life]
Keep these 25 lessons in mind, and really, you won’t be the one looking back at your life many years from now, and wondering ‘what if…?’
#1 Trust your instincts. Your instincts don’t always involve a sixth sense. Sometimes, it’s your subconscious mind that picks signs your conscious mind can’t see. So if you feel like something’s not right, big chances are, your subconscious mind has learnt a few lessons from previous experiences that can help you make a better judgment in that moment.
#2 Your life is nothing but a collection of memories. One of the things that constantly bother older people is the fact that they believe they haven’t achieved enough in life. Very few people ever feel like they’ve achieved everything they wanted to before they have to move on.
Time flies and you won’t even know it. After all, time doesn’t stop for anyone. So instead of wasting away your years staring at a big bucket list and waiting for the perfect life, create yearly milestones and try to pursue everything you want, be it in love or in life. If you looked back at your life so far and feel like you’ve achieved nothing of significance yet, you’ll feel the same way many decades later too.
#3 Coincidences happen all the time. Successful and happy people are extremely lucky people. Somehow, happy coincidences cross their path all the time.
And you know what, you can have all those coincidences too. But a coincidence means nothing unless you’re prepared for it. Work towards your happiness with determination. When you’re ready for it, your personal lucky coincidence will cross your path sooner than you think. [Read: How to take that first step and be successful in life]
#4 Relationships are a barter system. This may seem difficult to digest, but every single relationship in your mortal life is a barter of give and take. Even unconditional love will fade if it’s not reciprocated over time.
If you give, you will receive. If you receive, you need to give. If that balance shifts, you’ll experience unhappiness. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]
#5 It’s very easy to give your heart way. Giving a piece of your heart away by loving someone is very easy and effortless. But if the person you love doesn’t care about that piece of your heart you’ve given or doesn’t want it, you’d get hurt pretty badly. Don’t waste your thoughts and time on someone who doesn’t make you happy. Take time to fall in love and protect your heart. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]
#6 No person is good or bad. Humans aren’t good or bad. It’s only your perspective that makes a person good or bad. Even a really good person could turn out to be your worst enemy. And even your worst enemy has their own best friends. So don’t be judgmental when someone opposes you, learn to think from their perspective.
#7 Persistence is courageous. But even the boldest person should know when to give up. Always remember that giving up is never a bad thing, just as long as you know you’ve tried your best.
#8 Hard work is good, smart work is better. A farmer could use his hands to dig his field and he may take a year to complete it even if he works from dawn to dusk every day. But by using a plowing machine, he could probably do the same job in a day.
Hard work pays all the time, no matter what you do. But smart work always beats hard work hands down.
#9 Enjoy your present. It’s the little moments you experience everyday that come together to make your life. But don’t forget to plan your daily activities keeping your future in mind. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]
#10 Positive thinking is happiness. Positive thinking makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel more confident and gives you the strength to face any hurdle in life. As long as you fill your mind with positivity, it will help you achieve your dreams and will keep you happy every day.
#11 Negative thinking will make you a failure. A person who fills their mind with nothing but negative thoughts will never be happy, because they’re too obsessed with thoughts on how bad the world is.
When you think about someone or something with negativity, it drains your energy and fills you with negativity, which will repel happy people away from you. And most importantly, you need to remember that the grudge, anger or hate you hold against someone will never affect that person. It will only affect you and hurt you. [Read: Signs your negative thinking is ruining your life]
#12 It’s never the end of the world. It’s never too late to start afresh, and it’s never too late to be what you might have been. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed or how deep in the pits you are today. All it takes is the determination and the effort to put one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you’ll be exactly where you want to be.
#13 Don’t worry. Worrying about something over which you have no control over will never help you. Remember this line, worry is interest paid on trouble before it’s due. It doesn’t matter whether you worry or not, when something has to happen, it will. So will you worrying about something change the outcome? Of course not! So really, why are you worrying?
#14 Accept failure. A big life lesson you need to learn is to learn to accept failure now and then. Failure doesn’t make you weak, in fact, it helps you understand the reasons behind your failure better. Every time you fail, try to learn something from it so you never repeat the same mistake ever again.
The stronger the breeze, the mightier the oak becomes. When you experience failure, your success will taste sweeter. After all, you can’t appreciate true happiness until you have known sadness, can you? [Read: 12 steps to be perfect in everything you do]
#15 Be happy in your life. There are many of us who are tireless naggers. Do you find yourself feeling miserable no matter what you do? Learn to appreciate life and try to be happy with what you have, because there are many others who are less fortunate than you.
Sometimes, it takes losing something to truly understand how special it was to you. Don’t learn that from a failed experience because it can hurt a lot. Instead, learn it by looking all around you. When you realize how lucky you are, you’ll be thankful for what you have and lead a happier life.
#16 Arguments and relationships. Immature people always want to win an argument even at the cost of a relationship. Mature people understand that it’s always better to lose an argument and win a relationship.
You may not realize this, but arguments are constructive only when it ends with a better understanding of each other’s minds. Winning counts for nothing, because you’d only make the other person feel more hurt or angry. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship]
#17 The world is not unfair. If you think the world is unfair to you alone, then you’re a coward and a liar. It’s easy to look for excuses to dwell in your misery, and avoid moving on in your life. When you’re pushed to a corner, learn to push back and make your own space. Crap happens all the time, but what you do to move on makes all the difference between a strong minded person and a weak one.
#18 Money isn’t everything. Your pursuit of wealth and material happiness can definitely give you pleasure. But at the end of the day, relationships and inner satisfaction will give you more meaning to life than a fat bank balance. Ask a billionaire that question and they’ll say the same thing.
What kind of a paycheck do you think you need to experience financial freedom and happiness? Plan your life and work towards that goal. If you can do better than that, well, good for you. But when you achieve that monetary figure, instead of devoting your life to earning more, focus on your relationships. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better?]
#19 Life is no fun unless you take chances. A life without a bit of risk isn’t a life worth living. You can’t go through life protecting yourself from everything just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Sometimes, break free from your routine. It’ll give you more happiness than you think.
#20 You will never ever be satisfied in life. This is a life lesson you need to keep in mind because this is one you’ll forget most easily. As humans, we’re greedy and always want more, no matter what we already have.
If you truly want to feel satisfied in life, don’t let monetary goals define your life’s successes. Instead, focus on happy moments and the experiences you’ve had.
#21 Love yourself. If you hate yourself or feel like you’re no good, you’ll never truly achieve your true potential in your life. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not just to fit in. Instead, work on your perceived flaws and be the best person you can be. When you love yourself, you’ll feel more confident about yourself and your abilities. [Read: How to love yourself and become a much better you]
#22 Your future is in your hands alone. This is a life lesson that should be ingrained deep within you. You control your own future. And what you do today can change your future forever.
Living each day like it’s your last may not be the best way to plan your future. Instead, make each day in your life feel like an achievement. You’ll achieve greatness in your life only when you make each day in your life count for something valuable.
#23 Take a decision. Postponing a decision will only make your life more worrisome and troubled. Remember, there are just two choices in every obstacle or confusion you face in life. You can either walk away, or you can pursue on.
So instead of letting your worries mount up and distract you all the time, make up your mind and move on with a firm decision.
#24 Don’t blame another person. When you put the blame on someone else even though you were involved in the failure, you’re only limiting your own growth, especially in relationships. Learn to accept failure and mistakes gracefully instead of arguing about it. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and others around you]
#25 Have principles in life. This is the most important lesson in life that you need to learn. Your principles in life give you your identity and define who you are. Sometimes, it’s easy to be judgmental or do something you’ll regret later. You may even cheat a friend or take advantage of someone else’s misfortune, and as thrilling as the idea may be at that moment, you may feel bad about what you did when the excitement dies down.
That’s where setting clear principles in life can make all the difference. When you have set principles and rules about what you feel is morally right and wrong, and follow it in everything you do, it’ll make you a better human being and give you a clean conscience. Just remember to be just in your principles though, and understand that the rules that you apply for everyone else around you has to be followed by you too.
Experience is the best teacher of important lessons in life. But if you keep these 25 life lessons in mind and use them every day, you can avoid the pain of bitter experiences and lead a happier and more fulfilling life sooner than you think.
7 Secret Signs that Reveal a Bad Relationship
7 Secret Signs that Reveal a Bad Relationship
by Chester Bloom
Originally posted at http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/signs-of-a-bad-relationship
Are you really in a happy relationship that’s heading towards a happily ever after? Read these 7 secret signs of a bad relationship to know the truth.Relationships can, at times, be far more complicated than it seems on the surface.
You could see a cute couple who are happy together and assume they’re going to be hitched for life.And before you know it, the happy couple could break up and go their own ways?
Still water always runs deep.
What seems perfectly stable on the outside may not be so on the inside.
Sometimes, you may think you’re in a perfectly happy relationship when in truth, you may be heading towards a turbulent future with your lover.
[Read: What makes a relationship a good one?]
Secret signs of a bad relationship
When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then.
But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time.
Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds.
Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse. [Read: 16 tips to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]
The 7 secret signs that reveal a bad romance in progress
Constant arguments, affairs or unhappiness may be the big signs of a bad relationship. But these big signs don’t just crop up out of nowhere. And it’s the secret signs, those subtle hints that can even seem funny at first, that make way for the bigger problems to seep in.
Read these subtle signs of a bad relationship, and if you do experience something in your own relationship, weed them out before it affects your relationship further.
#1 Eye rolling. Do you take your partner or their suggestions seriously? You may find yourself dumbly smiling at your lover or ignoring your partner when they’re trying to say something to you. And your partner may even laugh about it.
But the fact that you didn’t listen to your partner or assumed that you were superior to your partner in that aspect shows that you don’t take your partner seriously. To begin with, it may just be a one-off incident.
But if you find yourself rolling your eyes each time you hear something from the next room or repeating ‘whatever’ inside your head, ask yourself why you’re taking your partner so lightly?
#2 Dominance. Dominance and power play in a relationship can be confusing to read, especially if you’re being subtle about it. Do you feel like one of you has more power in the relationship? A happy relationship has to have an equal balance of power between the two lovers. If you feel like you’re being dominated or not given enough control of the relationship and its direction, speak about it with your partner. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling partner]
#3 Loss of respect. Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If you don’t respect your lover, your lover would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. And almost all the time, your partner will end up getting attracted to someone else who respects them and likes them for the person they are. [Read: The reasons behind why you’re slowly falling out of love]
#4 Speaking ill of each other. Don’t insult each other just to get even or win an argument. And this is especially important when others are around. Don’t ridicule your partner, and, definitely, avoid saying anything demeaning to your partner when others are around. No matter how you say it, it’ll always be taken badly by your partner.
#5 Avoiding conflict and avoiding resolutions. Sometimes, it’s easier to overlook a few differences rather than pick a fight over it. But if something bothers you, don’t avoid talking about it with your partner.
If you find yourself grumbling to yourself about something, be it the dirty sink or the clothes lying around, but you still avoid talking about it to your partner, it’ll do more damage than good. The rage that accumulates inside you would start to distance you from your partner, and yet, your partner would have no idea about what’s bothering you. [Read: 7 steps to the happiest relationship you can have]
#6 Taking each other for granted. This is one of the most common signs of a bad relationship. All of us take our partners for granted. But there’s a thin line between feeling good about helping someone and feeling like an overworked mule. It’s very easy to unknowingly take your partner for granted. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself how you’d feel. It’ll help you realize when you’re being overbearing and annoying. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]
#7 Silence. Talk is cheap and silence is golden. True, almost in all cases, but not in a relationship. When you’re in love, communication helps open up both your minds and creates a better bond. Do both of you spend your evenings watching your favorite telly shows after work, and hardly talk about anything with each other? It may seem like a perfect way to relax after a tiring and long day.
But over times, this lack of communication will disconnect both of you from each other. And soon enough, both of you won’t have anything to share with each other because your minds and ideas are so far apart.
[Read: Perfect things to talk about in a perfect relationship]
If you’re looking for signs of a bad relationship, focus on these 7 signs to begin with. After all, even the biggest of relationship problems have to start with these little secret signs.
We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world. But we can’t do it without YOU!
Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship? You can change someone else’s life too!
Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship? You can change someone else’s life too!
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
What Did Jesus Have To Say About Homosexuality? - Busted Halo
What Did Jesus Have To Say About Homosexuality? - Busted Halo:
If you were to read all four gospels thoroughly in search of Jesus’ teachings on homosexuality it would be a futile endeavor. Not only would you come to the end of the gospels without finding anything attributed to Jesus on the subject, you wouldn’t even find a single reference to the issue in any context. In fact, there are only a handful of references to homosexuality in the entire Bible, but they are found in the Old Testament and Paul’s writings. (To put it in perspective, while there are only seven references to homosexuality, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of references to economic justice and the laws governing the accumulation and distribution of wealth.) Jesus’ silence on the subject suggests that an issue which can be controversial and/or fraught with emotion these days was simply not a central issue in his lifetime 2,000 years ago in the land of Palestine. The fact that he didn’t address this issue leaves us all to ponder what he might say were he here today.
If you were to read all four gospels thoroughly in search of Jesus’ teachings on homosexuality it would be a futile endeavor. Not only would you come to the end of the gospels without finding anything attributed to Jesus on the subject, you wouldn’t even find a single reference to the issue in any context. In fact, there are only a handful of references to homosexuality in the entire Bible, but they are found in the Old Testament and Paul’s writings. (To put it in perspective, while there are only seven references to homosexuality, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of references to economic justice and the laws governing the accumulation and distribution of wealth.) Jesus’ silence on the subject suggests that an issue which can be controversial and/or fraught with emotion these days was simply not a central issue in his lifetime 2,000 years ago in the land of Palestine. The fact that he didn’t address this issue leaves us all to ponder what he might say were he here today.
Lately (as written in 2002, lol)
Written October 9, 2002.
There is no real way to explain everything that has happened here lately.
I feel incredibly guilty over what I’ve done to the BF, and it truly hurts me. I don't quite understand why I did those things, but I did. And then I hurt the other guy and that's not a good thing either. It’s like I’m just setting myself up for bad karma. That’s not a good thing. I mean, it's just not. Karma does come back to bite you on the ass, and I am truly not looking forward to getting that bite. But then sometimes I think that maybe my actions were as a result of some bad karma that someone else might have built up themselves. Sometimes we do get paid back and we don't even really know it. Everything happens for a reason. That is the only mantra that I will stand by forever. Even when there seems to be no explanation, there always is one. Sometimes it's just not in the blueprint of your life. Sometimes you have to understand that there is someone else in control of your life. Of course, I don't mean a human being, but a spiritual being. Sometimes it's hard to really have the faith that we, as people, need to have. Sometimes when things get bad, I certainly am guilty of not having any faith in anything, least of all myself. There are times when I just would like to run as fast as I could from all of the problems that I seem to have in my life -- until I realize the problem is me and not anyone else. There is nobody to blame for what I’ve done. There is nobody left to blame. Everyone else would disagree with me. They’ve seen what I’ve endured; they've seen the pain I’ve gone through. They think that other people are to blame and I’m not totally to blame. I can't deny the fact that I’m not the best person in the world, there is no doubt about that.
I’ve realized a lot of things here lately and those realizations are not easily dealt with.
I realized that I cause a lot of my own problems because of my own head - my own crazy, over-thinking head. No, I’m not really crazy. I’m actually very normal, very nice, and very friendly, funny and charming. I am a bit above average, if you ask me, but who isn't supposed to think that about themselves?
I think that I’ve realized that no matter how hard you try, you can't be whatever someone else wants you to be, especially if you don't really FEEL it in your heart. It’s hard to live up to expectations that you really don't "want" to live up to. It’s really hard to do that. It’s hard to be someone you don't want to be for a long time for someone you realize you don't really like.
there are times when I don't really know why I would risk what I did, for the person I did, and though I know there was indeed some reason for it, hopefully it was to bring my BF and I closer. He’s done so much to push me away for so long, that I’ve just drove me insane completely.
There is no understanding all of the feelings that I have for my BF. I mean, the more I think about it, the more I realize there were so many things that I did wrong, and that really did hurt me. And it still does. I am going to try to make the best of things, and I hope that things will work out. I really blew a lot of things out of proportion when it came to him. I mean if it had only been the drinking then I could understand, but there were some other issues that I never really felt confident about. There were some other things that had happened, some things with his ex-girlfriend that really did hurt me. And he would defend her. He never seemed to want to defend me when it came to anything. I loved him, and I did adore him. I tried my best to be everything that he wanted, and then eventually, I grew a bit tired and I just shouldn't have given up, and now I am glad to have another chance because I really want to make this work, and I really think that it can. He seems to be happy and that really makes me feel good. I love him so much, and I want to be with him and I want him to be with me *and I want us to be happy*. I know that is dependent upon so much other stuff, but... oh well... I guess you never really know what in the world might happen.
I am hoping that things will be okay. I am hoping that things will fall into place as they are supposed to, but I want to be with my BF very much. I want this to work. I want to make things work, and as far as I can tell, we do get along good actually. I have learned not to be so jealous. I've learned not to be so angry all the time. I've learned not to take my anger out on him. I've also learned to try to talk about things that are bothering me rather than holding them inside. The pain I felt always came out as anger and I would lash out at him for the stupidest things. I love him more than anything, and I really am hoping that things will work out. I mean, we've been together a long time. Sure, we've had problems, but I am hoping us getting back together this time will be a success. I mean, we do love each other so very much. I know I adore him. I want to be with him more than ever, and when I realized that - it was so weird, a strange feeling came over me. I realized that I was just a big idiot about everything that happened. I am really going to try this time. I am going to do right, and I am not going to be anything but good. I mean, sure before I was good, but now I'm going to be better. I was hurt, and I retaliated and I am very sorry.
Lately... - 10/9/2002
There is no real way to explain everything that has happened here lately.
I feel incredibly guilty over what I’ve done to the BF, and it truly hurts me. I don't quite understand why I did those things, but I did. And then I hurt the other guy and that's not a good thing either. It’s like I’m just setting myself up for bad karma. That’s not a good thing. I mean, it's just not. Karma does come back to bite you on the ass, and I am truly not looking forward to getting that bite. But then sometimes I think that maybe my actions were as a result of some bad karma that someone else might have built up themselves. Sometimes we do get paid back and we don't even really know it. Everything happens for a reason. That is the only mantra that I will stand by forever. Even when there seems to be no explanation, there always is one. Sometimes it's just not in the blueprint of your life. Sometimes you have to understand that there is someone else in control of your life. Of course, I don't mean a human being, but a spiritual being. Sometimes it's hard to really have the faith that we, as people, need to have. Sometimes when things get bad, I certainly am guilty of not having any faith in anything, least of all myself. There are times when I just would like to run as fast as I could from all of the problems that I seem to have in my life -- until I realize the problem is me and not anyone else. There is nobody to blame for what I’ve done. There is nobody left to blame. Everyone else would disagree with me. They’ve seen what I’ve endured; they've seen the pain I’ve gone through. They think that other people are to blame and I’m not totally to blame. I can't deny the fact that I’m not the best person in the world, there is no doubt about that.
I’ve realized a lot of things here lately and those realizations are not easily dealt with.
I realized that I cause a lot of my own problems because of my own head - my own crazy, over-thinking head. No, I’m not really crazy. I’m actually very normal, very nice, and very friendly, funny and charming. I am a bit above average, if you ask me, but who isn't supposed to think that about themselves?
I think that I’ve realized that no matter how hard you try, you can't be whatever someone else wants you to be, especially if you don't really FEEL it in your heart. It’s hard to live up to expectations that you really don't "want" to live up to. It’s really hard to do that. It’s hard to be someone you don't want to be for a long time for someone you realize you don't really like.
there are times when I don't really know why I would risk what I did, for the person I did, and though I know there was indeed some reason for it, hopefully it was to bring my BF and I closer. He’s done so much to push me away for so long, that I’ve just drove me insane completely.
There is no understanding all of the feelings that I have for my BF. I mean, the more I think about it, the more I realize there were so many things that I did wrong, and that really did hurt me. And it still does. I am going to try to make the best of things, and I hope that things will work out. I really blew a lot of things out of proportion when it came to him. I mean if it had only been the drinking then I could understand, but there were some other issues that I never really felt confident about. There were some other things that had happened, some things with his ex-girlfriend that really did hurt me. And he would defend her. He never seemed to want to defend me when it came to anything. I loved him, and I did adore him. I tried my best to be everything that he wanted, and then eventually, I grew a bit tired and I just shouldn't have given up, and now I am glad to have another chance because I really want to make this work, and I really think that it can. He seems to be happy and that really makes me feel good. I love him so much, and I want to be with him and I want him to be with me *and I want us to be happy*. I know that is dependent upon so much other stuff, but... oh well... I guess you never really know what in the world might happen.
I am hoping that things will be okay. I am hoping that things will fall into place as they are supposed to, but I want to be with my BF very much. I want this to work. I want to make things work, and as far as I can tell, we do get along good actually. I have learned not to be so jealous. I've learned not to be so angry all the time. I've learned not to take my anger out on him. I've also learned to try to talk about things that are bothering me rather than holding them inside. The pain I felt always came out as anger and I would lash out at him for the stupidest things. I love him more than anything, and I really am hoping that things will work out. I mean, we've been together a long time. Sure, we've had problems, but I am hoping us getting back together this time will be a success. I mean, we do love each other so very much. I know I adore him. I want to be with him more than ever, and when I realized that - it was so weird, a strange feeling came over me. I realized that I was just a big idiot about everything that happened. I am really going to try this time. I am going to do right, and I am not going to be anything but good. I mean, sure before I was good, but now I'm going to be better. I was hurt, and I retaliated and I am very sorry.
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