Setting my daily routine

For some people having given a daily routine gives them some sense of being able to keep things under control. It also gives them an idea of how to plan and manage their time. They are better able to keep up good habits if they have some sort of routine.

For others, a routine feels confining and boring. They like to live spontaneously. They don't like to plan every aspect of their lives.

Which type of person are you? Which type of person am I? I asked myself those questions. I used to have a routine set up and I thought that I was stuck in a rut. So now I have little routine in my life and I feel like I am not getting anything done.

I find that making good habits and breaking bad habits is harder without being set into a routine. It is easier to live with a set up schedule for doing things. It makes accomplishing tasks easier. It makes planning my time easier.

And yet I find myself hating to be stuck in a routine schedule every day or every week.

I have to figure out a way to get my mind around the good reasons to have a plan and execute that plan everyday. I have to figure out a way to get back into the habit of doing things at certain times whether I want to or not.

For far too long, I have let my emotions and feelings dictate what I have done. It only set me into a path of depression that wasn't healthy for me. Because if I didn't feel like doing anything then I simply wouldn't do it. Until it got to the point where there was no other option but to do it. And I felt like if I didn't do it then things would simply get out of hand and then I would work myself into a bad feeling about ever doing anything at all.

Somewhere along the way I lost sight of why I did the things that I did. I lost the reason to get things done like I want to. I want to be the type of person who enjoys cleaning. I want to be the type of person who likes to get her house in order. I don't want to be the kind of person who comes across as lazy or unacceptable or unsuccessful.

And so I set about in my life to try to create new daily routines. I try to do some things at the same time every day to give myself a sense of getting things done. I have tried to make lists of things that I need to do. I have decided to take on the notion of getting things done that take under five minutes to do. That clears me up for other more important things.

I have set myself on a schedule to read at the same time every day, to check my email at the same time daily, to write at the same times, to get on social media at the same time everyday.

It has not been easy for me to stick to these routines because sometimes they become difficult for me. I have tried and I have not succeeded but I try again the next day. I don't give up. I know that eventually I will get to exactly where I want to be.

Work In Progress

WORK IN PROGRESS

I am working on becoming a more positive person so that I can have a positive attitude and a positive impact on other people. I have, of late, become a negative Nelly. It is something that happens to me every year around the holidays and the New Year. 

I know that I am not the negative person that I have become lately. I know that I am not going to get there overnight. I know that I did not become negative overnight so it's not going to be am overnight story for me to get back to the positive side of life. I know that it will take time and effort to get to where I want to be.

Lately I have been feeling like the few pounds that I have gained is the worst thing in the world. I have not been able to get into the clothes that I have, and last year, I gave away alot of my fat clothes. I had lost alot of weight and I thought that maybe I would keep it off. Unfortunately, as soon as I got a boyfriend who loved to eat as much as I do, or probably more than I do, the weight slipped back on me.

And with the weight going up, the self esteem went down. Not only that but my boyfriend is not exactly a compliment machine. I am not complaining about him as I know there are other good qualities that he has. I just know that some of my self esteem in my life has come from the compliments of others.

Because I am aware that it is taking validation from others to get my self esteem up, I am trying to change that as well. I should know that I do not need validation from anyone else out there. I know that I am a smart woman. I know that I am a kind person. I know that I am an understanding person. I don't know why my self esteem comes from how other people see me. That makes no sense whatsoever.

It is called self esteem. That means it must come from within my heart and my own brain. I know that I must get things back to the way they used to be. I was well liked by everyone and I actually enjoyed being around other people. Nowadays there are days when I don't want to leave my house. There are days when I don't want to be around anyone except my dogs. And there are days when I don't want to stay in my house at all.

I have thought about the reasons why my moods fluctuate and I have found that sometimes it is all about what is going on inside my head. It is the thoughts that I have. It is the procrastination of it all. I want my house to be a certain way and to be clean but I don't get up and actually do any of those things. I just think about how I want to get them done.

Procrastination and laziness have become part of who I am the older I have gotten. I think part of it is because of an accident I had years ago. Before that car accident, ten years ago this April, I was always on the go. I was always doing something, cleaning something, cooking something, or studying something. I was also extremely stressed out and high strung. I was not really happy either. And yet here I am now, completely the opposite, and I am not happy here either. That tells me that I am out of balance somewhere.

After my accident and the injuries I sustained, I wasn't able to physically do the things that I had been doing. I had to get used to needing help to walk, put clothes on, bathe, etc. I had a very difficult time with all of those things but chronic pain tends to let you know when you can or cannot do something. I was so young when the accident happened, and for someone in her middle 20s it was hard to no longer be able to do just basic tasks, much less things that I wanted to do like go walking or shopping or cleaning or going to visit people.

In time I was able to get back to where I could do basic tasks but the pain from sitting or standing too long still bothers me. Ten years later and I am still unable to do many things that I could do years ago, but now I have learned my physical limitations. I know that I am not able to sit or stand for long periods. I know that I must exercise regularly to keep my back healthier. I know that I cannot gain a tremendous amount of weight because it is harder on my back than on someone with a healthy back.

Because it took time for me to get to this point then I know that it will take time for me to get back to a more normal life. But how do I even go about doing that? When nothing but negative thoughts plague my mind these days how exactly do I get back to a positive frame of mind?

I have read and written articles about the power of positive thinking but I still find myself plagued with negative thoughts and therefore negative attitudes towards things in my life.

I am tired of being this way and yet I have not found the perfect solution for my issues. I am still working on it. And that's why I consider myself to be a work in progress and not a finished masterpiece. But I am still working on it and that's what really matters.

Genuine happiness comes from within

Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Life is not perfect for anyone. It is not always sunshine and flowers. It is not always rainbows and roses. Many people think that happiness will come with the next car, house, job, or other material possession.  But that is not true. 

True happiness comes from within.  It is a state of mind that you find when you become grateful about what you already have in your life.  There are always positive things that you can see in any situation. 

We often look at others and we think they have the most perfect lives.  We compare our own lives to theirs and find that our own fall short.  Comparing yourself to someone else is never going to bring you happiness.

If you want to find true happiness,  then you need to start by looking at yourself.  Why are you not happy with your life?  What would it take to make you happy?  Do you have good relationships with other people?  What is holding you back from being happy?

Most likely what is holding you back is your own mind.  If you can get over yourself and your own thoughts and negativity then you are on your way to starting to become a happier person. 

How do we become happier?  One of the first things that you have to do is -  Love Yourself.  Accept yourself.  Sure you are probably not perfect,  but who is?  Even thought you are not perfect,  you have to accept the fact that you're not. We are all imperfect.  And that is okay. 

Despite not being perfect, we must accept our imperfections.  If there is something about yourself that is bothering you,  then you need to figure out what it is and take measures to improve yourself. 

Despite realizing that you have things about yourself that need improvement, you also must be able to be content with what you do have in your life.  Are you content with the job that you have,  the way you look, with your relationships, with your home, with your car, and other things that you now have? You must appreciate what you have now in order to feel better about your life.

You have to decide that you are a happy person in order to be a happy person.  Today is a good day to have a good day,  is it not?  Why wait until something else happens or changes in your life before you decide that you want to be happy? Nobody is constantly happy without making a conscious decision to feel happy. 

Every time you exert the effort to improve your life and yourself then you are coming closer and closer to genuine happiness.  You have to constantly try to improve your quality of life -  clean your room,  take care of your sick pets,  make an effort to do something nice for someone else, lose weight, learn something, etc.  You should always be in a state of constant improvement -  because we never really "get"  to where we want to be.  We should always strive,  every single day,  to be better than we were yesterday. 

That's all that we can really do -  is try to be better than we were yesterday. 

As long as you can do that then you learn to become a happier person. 

The Power of a Positive Attitude

The Power of a Positive Attitude

Listen to your thoughts. What comes across your mind? Would you describe your thoughts as mostly positive or negative?

If you meet someone on the street, with those thoughts in your head, do you think that people could tell what you were thinking? Most people could not yell you exactly what you were thinking but they could probably get a good reading of how you were feeling based on these thoughts in your head.

If you walk into a party, do people fall silent or do they look as if they are happy to see you?

Whatever thoughts are in your head are going to follow you around like a cloud or fog over your head. If you are thinking negative thoughts especially about yourself other people are going to be able to pick up on those negative energy vibes coming from you.

Thoughts are powerful. They can completely control your attitude and the vibes that you radiate. Your energy is often the result of your thoughts. If they are negative then you will have a negative attitude. If they are positive then you will have a more positive attitude.

Your thoughts affect your attitude, and your attitude reflects your general appearance to others most of the time. The exception would be if you are a really good actor. Some people are good at hiding things but for the most part we come across as a product of our thoughts.

The attitude you carry is completely dependent upon you and the thoughts that you have.

Your thoughts and attitude affect the people around you as well. Your attitude can be positive or negative. Positive thoughts can be exciting. They can invigorate you. Negative thoughts can bring your energy down. They sap happiness from your life. They can make you gloomy and sad. Negative thoughts have the power to make even a party seem like a funeral in your mind.

People around a negative person are often sapped of their energy. They feed off of the negative attitude of the person around them. Misery loves company and negativity is contagious.

Just as positivity can be contagious. People around positive people are often energized by those people. They can feed off of the positive energy that comes from the positive person.

People tend to stay away from those who are negative and they want to be around positive people. One of the best feelings is when someone you love tells you that they love being around you because being around you makes them feel good, feel positive, feel uplifted.

There are many advantages to being positive. How do you view the world? Do you focus on the negatives in the world or do you focus on the bright side? When a problem occurs, how to you react to it? Do you only see more problems and negative effects of the problem? Or do you look for a solution and see what it is that you can learn and change from this problem happening?

People with a positive attitude tend to have more friends than those with negative attitudes.  People with positive attitudes tend to have better health than those with a negative attitude. People with positive attitudes tend to be better at dealing with stress and problems.

A positive attitude starts with a healthy self image. A positive self image means that you love yourself. It means that you are satisfied and confident with the way that you are. If you feel self assured and confident then you will make others around you feel the same way. A negative attitude will, obviously, have the opposite effect.

Carrying a negative attitude has more than one drawback. You feel badly about yourself and then you make others feel the same way. If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to have healthy, happy, positive thoughts.

It is hard to have happy thoughts all of the time, especially with the negative effects of television and bad news that's on TV these days. The truth is that most news is negative because that I what people watch. People are drawn to negative stories and negative news more than they are positive stories.

A recent study shows that out of every 14 things a parent says to a child, only one is positive. If you are not given positive reinforcement, then it is going to be more difficult for you to be a positive person and have a healthy self image.

In order to have a positive attitude and happier thoughts then you must hear positive things as well. What can you do to think happier thoughts? Well try to do something that is fun or that gives you positive stimuli such as playing with your children, watching a funny movie, being around your pets, or doing something that you truly enjoy. They say laughter is the best medicine, and when you are feeling down, watching something or doing something that is amusing to you can help reduce the amount of negative thoughts that you have.

You can carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things in your life. There is no situation that is so bad that there cannot be at least one positive thing about it, even if that thing is that you are still alive. If you are still alive then there is still hope.

Dwelling on the negative thoughts or events in your life will only make those negative things feel bigger and more cumbersome than they actually are. It keeps them in your mind longer and makes you feel sad or hopeless.

You have nothing to lose by trying to be a more positive person. It helps your health, reduces aging, helps you be happier, helps you deal better with stress, and determines how others act around you.

Adopt a positive attitude today and see how quickly your life changes.

What makes your soul happy?

In the past six months, I have been on a true spiritual journey where I have been  trying to find myself - what I am and who I want to be. I have been trying to find what it is that I want to do with my life.

Sometimes I do not feel like I have grown at all until I spend time with people who say they see such a tremendous change in me, in my attitude, in my outlook, in my positive mindset. People who don't spend alot of time with me on a daily basis are probably more likely to see the changes in me than those I am around everyday.

I have become more confident, happier and healthier. People want to know what changed me, as if it is a pill that they can take and be changed overnight and it is not.

It has taken me a lot of time and effort and work to make the changes in my life that others see. But perhaps I can give others an inspiration or an insight into how they can go on their own journey and find more about themselves.

So perhaps that is where my passion lies. Perhaps helping other people is my calling. I have an affinity for working with people, for making conversation with perfect strangers, for making others feel at ease and comfortable.

Maybe in discussing my own journey and what I have experienced will help others to have some experiences of their own.

So that's where I shall begin. I have been a writer since I could first pick up a pen. I know that I can find a way to discuss my own life in an entertaining and rewarding way. I am sure that I will be able to make a difference, perhaps using only the power of my words. That would make my soul happy.

25 Memorable Life Lessons to Perfect Your Life

25 Memorable Life Lessons to Perfect Your Life

life lessons to perfect your life

Life is full of surprises. But it’s also full of lessons if you’re willing to learn from it. Use these 25 life lessons to lead a perfect and happier life.

The magical thing about lessons in life is that you learn something new every day.

Some of these lessons you learn are small.

And some others, well, they can help you change your life forever.

With every failure or heartbreak that you experience, there’s a lesson to learn from it.

Most of us are so distraught by the failures of everyday life, that we fail to see the bright side of our own failures.

How can a failure ever have a bright side, you may ask.

But if you think deeper, every moment of pain, suffering or ecstatic happiness always leaves you with something to learn.

From the first time you burnt your finger on a flame to your last romance, every moment has taught you something new that you won’t forget. [Read: Easy steps to stop a selfish person from hurting you]

Life lessons from everyday life

While there may be many lessons that you’ve learnt every day in your life, in all probability, you would have forgotten most of them as soon as the moment passes.

And when you forget an important lesson in life, it has a way of coming right back into your life to teach you the same lesson all over again, until you don’t ever forget it.

But will you learn from that lesson? Or will you get distracted and overlook the lessons each time?

25 life lessons that can make a positive difference in your life

A lesson well learnt can help you in every aspect of your life. It can help you be more successful, more wary, and most importantly, more happy.

But if you want a list of great lessons that can truly help you change your life for the better, here are 25 real life lessons that you always need to remember. [Read: I have no idea on what to do with my life]

Keep these 25 lessons in mind, and really, you won’t be the one looking back at your life many years from now, and wondering ‘what if…?’

#1 Trust your instincts. Your instincts don’t always involve a sixth sense. Sometimes, it’s your subconscious mind that picks signs your conscious mind can’t see. So if you feel like something’s not right, big chances are, your subconscious mind has learnt a few lessons from previous experiences that can help you make a better judgment in that moment.

#2 Your life is nothing but a collection of memories. One of the things that constantly bother older people is the fact that they believe they haven’t achieved enough in life. Very few people ever feel like they’ve achieved everything they wanted to before they have to move on.

Time flies and you won’t even know it. After all, time doesn’t stop for anyone. So instead of wasting away your years staring at a big bucket list and waiting for the perfect life, create yearly milestones and try to pursue everything you want, be it in love or in life. If you looked back at your life so far and feel like you’ve achieved nothing of significance yet, you’ll feel the same way many decades later too.

#3 Coincidences happen all the time. Successful and happy people are extremely lucky people. Somehow, happy coincidences cross their path all the time.

And you know what, you can have all those coincidences too. But a coincidence means nothing unless you’re prepared for it. Work towards your happiness with determination. When you’re ready for it, your personal lucky coincidence will cross your path sooner than you think. [Read: How to take that first step and be successful in life]

#4 Relationships are a barter system. This may seem difficult to digest, but every single relationship in your mortal life is a barter of give and take. Even unconditional love will fade if it’s not reciprocated over time.

If you give, you will receive. If you receive, you need to give. If that balance shifts, you’ll experience unhappiness. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]

#5 It’s very easy to give your heart way. Giving a piece of your heart away by loving someone is very easy and effortless. But if the person you love doesn’t care about that piece of your heart you’ve given or doesn’t want it, you’d get hurt pretty badly. Don’t waste your thoughts and time on someone who doesn’t make you happy. Take time to fall in love and protect your heart. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]

#6 No person is good or bad. Humans aren’t good or bad. It’s only your perspective that makes a person good or bad. Even a really good person could turn out to be your worst enemy. And even your worst enemy has their own best friends. So don’t be judgmental when someone opposes you, learn to think from their perspective.

#7 Persistence is courageous. But even the boldest person should know when to give up. Always remember that giving up is never a bad thing, just as long as you know you’ve tried your best.

#8 Hard work is good, smart work is better. A farmer could use his hands to dig his field and he may take a year to complete it even if he works from dawn to dusk every day. But by using a plowing machine, he could probably do the same job in a day.

Hard work pays all the time, no matter what you do. But smart work always beats hard work hands down.

#9 Enjoy your present. It’s the little moments you experience everyday that come together to make your life. But don’t forget to plan your daily activities keeping your future in mind. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]

#10 Positive thinking is happiness. Positive thinking makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel more confident and gives you the strength to face any hurdle in life. As long as you fill your mind with positivity, it will help you achieve your dreams and will keep you happy every day.

#11 Negative thinking will make you a failure. A person who fills their mind with nothing but negative thoughts will never be happy, because they’re too obsessed with thoughts on how bad the world is.

When you think about someone or something with negativity, it drains your energy and fills you with negativity, which will repel happy people away from you. And most importantly, you need to remember that the grudge, anger or hate you hold against someone will never affect that person. It will only affect you and hurt you. [Read: Signs your negative thinking is ruining your life]

#12 It’s never the end of the world. It’s never too late to start afresh, and it’s never too late to be what you might have been. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed or how deep in the pits you are today. All it takes is the determination and the effort to put one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you’ll be exactly where you want to be.

#13 Don’t worry. Worrying about something over which you have no control over will never help you. Remember this line, worry is interest paid on trouble before it’s due. It doesn’t matter whether you worry or not, when something has to happen, it will. So will you worrying about something change the outcome? Of course not! So really, why are you worrying?

#14 Accept failure. A big life lesson you need to learn is to learn to accept failure now and then. Failure doesn’t make you weak, in fact, it helps you understand the reasons behind your failure better. Every time you fail, try to learn something from it so you never repeat the same mistake ever again.

The stronger the breeze, the mightier the oak becomes. When you experience failure, your success will taste sweeter. After all, you can’t appreciate true happiness until you have known sadness, can you? [Read: 12 steps to be perfect in everything you do]

#15 Be happy in your life. There are many of us who are tireless naggers. Do you find yourself feeling miserable no matter what you do? Learn to appreciate life and try to be happy with what you have, because there are many others who are less fortunate than you.

Sometimes, it takes losing something to truly understand how special it was to you. Don’t learn that from a failed experience because it can hurt a lot. Instead, learn it by looking all around you. When you realize how lucky you are, you’ll be thankful for what you have and lead a happier life.

#16 Arguments and relationships. Immature people always want to win an argument even at the cost of a relationship. Mature people understand that it’s always better to lose an argument and win a relationship.

You may not realize this, but arguments are constructive only when it ends with a better understanding of each other’s minds. Winning counts for nothing, because you’d only make the other person feel more hurt or angry. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship]

#17 The world is not unfair. If you think the world is unfair to you alone, then you’re a coward and a liar. It’s easy to look for excuses to dwell in your misery, and avoid moving on in your life. When you’re pushed to a corner, learn to push back and make your own space. Crap happens all the time, but what you do to move on makes all the difference between a strong minded person and a weak one.

#18 Money isn’t everything. Your pursuit of wealth and material happiness can definitely give you pleasure. But at the end of the day, relationships and inner satisfaction will give you more meaning to life than a fat bank balance. Ask a billionaire that question and they’ll say the same thing.

What kind of a paycheck do you think you need to experience financial freedom and happiness? Plan your life and work towards that goal. If you can do better than that, well, good for you. But when you achieve that monetary figure, instead of devoting your life to earning more, focus on your relationships. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better?]

#19 Life is no fun unless you take chances. A life without a bit of risk isn’t a life worth living. You can’t go through life protecting yourself from everything just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Sometimes, break free from your routine. It’ll give you more happiness than you think.

#20 You will never ever be satisfied in life. This is a life lesson you need to keep in mind because this is one you’ll forget most easily. As humans, we’re greedy and always want more, no matter what we already have.

If you truly want to feel satisfied in life, don’t let monetary goals define your life’s successes. Instead, focus on happy moments and the experiences you’ve had.

#21 Love yourself. If you hate yourself or feel like you’re no good, you’ll never truly achieve your true potential in your life. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not just to fit in. Instead, work on your perceived flaws and be the best person you can be. When you love yourself, you’ll feel more confident about yourself and your abilities. [Read: How to love yourself and become a much better you]

#22 Your future is in your hands alone. This is a life lesson that should be ingrained deep within you. You control your own future. And what you do today can change your future forever.

Living each day like it’s your last may not be the best way to plan your future. Instead, make each day in your life feel like an achievement. You’ll achieve greatness in your life only when you make each day in your life count for something valuable.

#23 Take a decision. Postponing a decision will only make your life more worrisome and troubled. Remember, there are just two choices in every obstacle or confusion you face in life. You can either walk away, or you can pursue on.

So instead of letting your worries mount up and distract you all the time, make up your mind and move on with a firm decision.

#24 Don’t blame another person. When you put the blame on someone else even though you were involved in the failure, you’re only limiting your own growth, especially in relationships. Learn to accept failure and mistakes gracefully instead of arguing about it. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and others around you]

#25 Have principles in life. This is the most important lesson in life that you need to learn. Your principles in life give you your identity and define who you are. Sometimes, it’s easy to be judgmental or do something you’ll regret later. You may even cheat a friend or take advantage of someone else’s misfortune, and as thrilling as the idea may be at that moment, you may feel bad about what you did when the excitement dies down.

That’s where setting clear principles in life can make all the difference. When you have set principles and rules about what you feel is morally right and wrong, and follow it in everything you do, it’ll make you a better human being and give you a clean conscience. Just remember to be just in your principles though, and understand that the rules that you apply for everyone else around you has to be followed by you too.

Experience is the best teacher of important lessons in life. But if you keep these 25 life lessons in mind and use them every day, you can avoid the pain of bitter experiences and lead a happier and more fulfilling life sooner than you think.