Work In Progress

WORK IN PROGRESS

I am working on becoming a more positive person so that I can have a positive attitude and a positive impact on other people. I have, of late, become a negative Nelly. It is something that happens to me every year around the holidays and the New Year. 

I know that I am not the negative person that I have become lately. I know that I am not going to get there overnight. I know that I did not become negative overnight so it's not going to be am overnight story for me to get back to the positive side of life. I know that it will take time and effort to get to where I want to be.

Lately I have been feeling like the few pounds that I have gained is the worst thing in the world. I have not been able to get into the clothes that I have, and last year, I gave away alot of my fat clothes. I had lost alot of weight and I thought that maybe I would keep it off. Unfortunately, as soon as I got a boyfriend who loved to eat as much as I do, or probably more than I do, the weight slipped back on me.

And with the weight going up, the self esteem went down. Not only that but my boyfriend is not exactly a compliment machine. I am not complaining about him as I know there are other good qualities that he has. I just know that some of my self esteem in my life has come from the compliments of others.

Because I am aware that it is taking validation from others to get my self esteem up, I am trying to change that as well. I should know that I do not need validation from anyone else out there. I know that I am a smart woman. I know that I am a kind person. I know that I am an understanding person. I don't know why my self esteem comes from how other people see me. That makes no sense whatsoever.

It is called self esteem. That means it must come from within my heart and my own brain. I know that I must get things back to the way they used to be. I was well liked by everyone and I actually enjoyed being around other people. Nowadays there are days when I don't want to leave my house. There are days when I don't want to be around anyone except my dogs. And there are days when I don't want to stay in my house at all.

I have thought about the reasons why my moods fluctuate and I have found that sometimes it is all about what is going on inside my head. It is the thoughts that I have. It is the procrastination of it all. I want my house to be a certain way and to be clean but I don't get up and actually do any of those things. I just think about how I want to get them done.

Procrastination and laziness have become part of who I am the older I have gotten. I think part of it is because of an accident I had years ago. Before that car accident, ten years ago this April, I was always on the go. I was always doing something, cleaning something, cooking something, or studying something. I was also extremely stressed out and high strung. I was not really happy either. And yet here I am now, completely the opposite, and I am not happy here either. That tells me that I am out of balance somewhere.

After my accident and the injuries I sustained, I wasn't able to physically do the things that I had been doing. I had to get used to needing help to walk, put clothes on, bathe, etc. I had a very difficult time with all of those things but chronic pain tends to let you know when you can or cannot do something. I was so young when the accident happened, and for someone in her middle 20s it was hard to no longer be able to do just basic tasks, much less things that I wanted to do like go walking or shopping or cleaning or going to visit people.

In time I was able to get back to where I could do basic tasks but the pain from sitting or standing too long still bothers me. Ten years later and I am still unable to do many things that I could do years ago, but now I have learned my physical limitations. I know that I am not able to sit or stand for long periods. I know that I must exercise regularly to keep my back healthier. I know that I cannot gain a tremendous amount of weight because it is harder on my back than on someone with a healthy back.

Because it took time for me to get to this point then I know that it will take time for me to get back to a more normal life. But how do I even go about doing that? When nothing but negative thoughts plague my mind these days how exactly do I get back to a positive frame of mind?

I have read and written articles about the power of positive thinking but I still find myself plagued with negative thoughts and therefore negative attitudes towards things in my life.

I am tired of being this way and yet I have not found the perfect solution for my issues. I am still working on it. And that's why I consider myself to be a work in progress and not a finished masterpiece. But I am still working on it and that's what really matters.

The Power of a Positive Attitude

The Power of a Positive Attitude

Listen to your thoughts. What comes across your mind? Would you describe your thoughts as mostly positive or negative?

If you meet someone on the street, with those thoughts in your head, do you think that people could tell what you were thinking? Most people could not yell you exactly what you were thinking but they could probably get a good reading of how you were feeling based on these thoughts in your head.

If you walk into a party, do people fall silent or do they look as if they are happy to see you?

Whatever thoughts are in your head are going to follow you around like a cloud or fog over your head. If you are thinking negative thoughts especially about yourself other people are going to be able to pick up on those negative energy vibes coming from you.

Thoughts are powerful. They can completely control your attitude and the vibes that you radiate. Your energy is often the result of your thoughts. If they are negative then you will have a negative attitude. If they are positive then you will have a more positive attitude.

Your thoughts affect your attitude, and your attitude reflects your general appearance to others most of the time. The exception would be if you are a really good actor. Some people are good at hiding things but for the most part we come across as a product of our thoughts.

The attitude you carry is completely dependent upon you and the thoughts that you have.

Your thoughts and attitude affect the people around you as well. Your attitude can be positive or negative. Positive thoughts can be exciting. They can invigorate you. Negative thoughts can bring your energy down. They sap happiness from your life. They can make you gloomy and sad. Negative thoughts have the power to make even a party seem like a funeral in your mind.

People around a negative person are often sapped of their energy. They feed off of the negative attitude of the person around them. Misery loves company and negativity is contagious.

Just as positivity can be contagious. People around positive people are often energized by those people. They can feed off of the positive energy that comes from the positive person.

People tend to stay away from those who are negative and they want to be around positive people. One of the best feelings is when someone you love tells you that they love being around you because being around you makes them feel good, feel positive, feel uplifted.

There are many advantages to being positive. How do you view the world? Do you focus on the negatives in the world or do you focus on the bright side? When a problem occurs, how to you react to it? Do you only see more problems and negative effects of the problem? Or do you look for a solution and see what it is that you can learn and change from this problem happening?

People with a positive attitude tend to have more friends than those with negative attitudes.  People with positive attitudes tend to have better health than those with a negative attitude. People with positive attitudes tend to be better at dealing with stress and problems.

A positive attitude starts with a healthy self image. A positive self image means that you love yourself. It means that you are satisfied and confident with the way that you are. If you feel self assured and confident then you will make others around you feel the same way. A negative attitude will, obviously, have the opposite effect.

Carrying a negative attitude has more than one drawback. You feel badly about yourself and then you make others feel the same way. If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to have healthy, happy, positive thoughts.

It is hard to have happy thoughts all of the time, especially with the negative effects of television and bad news that's on TV these days. The truth is that most news is negative because that I what people watch. People are drawn to negative stories and negative news more than they are positive stories.

A recent study shows that out of every 14 things a parent says to a child, only one is positive. If you are not given positive reinforcement, then it is going to be more difficult for you to be a positive person and have a healthy self image.

In order to have a positive attitude and happier thoughts then you must hear positive things as well. What can you do to think happier thoughts? Well try to do something that is fun or that gives you positive stimuli such as playing with your children, watching a funny movie, being around your pets, or doing something that you truly enjoy. They say laughter is the best medicine, and when you are feeling down, watching something or doing something that is amusing to you can help reduce the amount of negative thoughts that you have.

You can carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things in your life. There is no situation that is so bad that there cannot be at least one positive thing about it, even if that thing is that you are still alive. If you are still alive then there is still hope.

Dwelling on the negative thoughts or events in your life will only make those negative things feel bigger and more cumbersome than they actually are. It keeps them in your mind longer and makes you feel sad or hopeless.

You have nothing to lose by trying to be a more positive person. It helps your health, reduces aging, helps you be happier, helps you deal better with stress, and determines how others act around you.

Adopt a positive attitude today and see how quickly your life changes.

Negativity is contagious

Somehow I have found that people seem to enjoy my company. They find me positive and uplifting. My aunt recently told me that she loves being around me and that when I leave her she still feels good and motivated. 

In our family, we have alot of Negative Nellys. The people who complain about everything and who make you feel worse when they're gone. They sit around telling you what you need to be doing and what you're not doing that's good enough. They complain about everything in their life and everything in your life too.

Judgmental and hypocritical, it can be difficult to stay positive when surrounded by the negativity. The reason being that negativity is contagious. We are programmed to think negatively anyway. 

The best way that I found to decrease the negative thoughts in my mind has been through meditation and hypnosis recordings. I know that it sounds silly but when I had nothing else, I turned to God and to self help books.

Learning to be mindful right now and enjoy your life right now at this moment in time is very important to live a balanced life. No matter what is going on in your life right now, there is something that you can be grateful for. There is something that you can be glad of. And if there is nothing else then you can be glad that you woke up.

Life is what we make it. It is not a guarantee that you will be successful at every thing that you try to do. But it is a guarantee that you will not be if you don't even try.

What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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25 Memorable Life Lessons to Perfect Your Life

25 Memorable Life Lessons to Perfect Your Life

life lessons to perfect your life

Life is full of surprises. But it’s also full of lessons if you’re willing to learn from it. Use these 25 life lessons to lead a perfect and happier life.

The magical thing about lessons in life is that you learn something new every day.

Some of these lessons you learn are small.

And some others, well, they can help you change your life forever.

With every failure or heartbreak that you experience, there’s a lesson to learn from it.

Most of us are so distraught by the failures of everyday life, that we fail to see the bright side of our own failures.

How can a failure ever have a bright side, you may ask.

But if you think deeper, every moment of pain, suffering or ecstatic happiness always leaves you with something to learn.

From the first time you burnt your finger on a flame to your last romance, every moment has taught you something new that you won’t forget. [Read: Easy steps to stop a selfish person from hurting you]

Life lessons from everyday life

While there may be many lessons that you’ve learnt every day in your life, in all probability, you would have forgotten most of them as soon as the moment passes.

And when you forget an important lesson in life, it has a way of coming right back into your life to teach you the same lesson all over again, until you don’t ever forget it.

But will you learn from that lesson? Or will you get distracted and overlook the lessons each time?

25 life lessons that can make a positive difference in your life

A lesson well learnt can help you in every aspect of your life. It can help you be more successful, more wary, and most importantly, more happy.

But if you want a list of great lessons that can truly help you change your life for the better, here are 25 real life lessons that you always need to remember. [Read: I have no idea on what to do with my life]

Keep these 25 lessons in mind, and really, you won’t be the one looking back at your life many years from now, and wondering ‘what if…?’

#1 Trust your instincts. Your instincts don’t always involve a sixth sense. Sometimes, it’s your subconscious mind that picks signs your conscious mind can’t see. So if you feel like something’s not right, big chances are, your subconscious mind has learnt a few lessons from previous experiences that can help you make a better judgment in that moment.

#2 Your life is nothing but a collection of memories. One of the things that constantly bother older people is the fact that they believe they haven’t achieved enough in life. Very few people ever feel like they’ve achieved everything they wanted to before they have to move on.

Time flies and you won’t even know it. After all, time doesn’t stop for anyone. So instead of wasting away your years staring at a big bucket list and waiting for the perfect life, create yearly milestones and try to pursue everything you want, be it in love or in life. If you looked back at your life so far and feel like you’ve achieved nothing of significance yet, you’ll feel the same way many decades later too.

#3 Coincidences happen all the time. Successful and happy people are extremely lucky people. Somehow, happy coincidences cross their path all the time.

And you know what, you can have all those coincidences too. But a coincidence means nothing unless you’re prepared for it. Work towards your happiness with determination. When you’re ready for it, your personal lucky coincidence will cross your path sooner than you think. [Read: How to take that first step and be successful in life]

#4 Relationships are a barter system. This may seem difficult to digest, but every single relationship in your mortal life is a barter of give and take. Even unconditional love will fade if it’s not reciprocated over time.

If you give, you will receive. If you receive, you need to give. If that balance shifts, you’ll experience unhappiness. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]

#5 It’s very easy to give your heart way. Giving a piece of your heart away by loving someone is very easy and effortless. But if the person you love doesn’t care about that piece of your heart you’ve given or doesn’t want it, you’d get hurt pretty badly. Don’t waste your thoughts and time on someone who doesn’t make you happy. Take time to fall in love and protect your heart. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]

#6 No person is good or bad. Humans aren’t good or bad. It’s only your perspective that makes a person good or bad. Even a really good person could turn out to be your worst enemy. And even your worst enemy has their own best friends. So don’t be judgmental when someone opposes you, learn to think from their perspective.

#7 Persistence is courageous. But even the boldest person should know when to give up. Always remember that giving up is never a bad thing, just as long as you know you’ve tried your best.

#8 Hard work is good, smart work is better. A farmer could use his hands to dig his field and he may take a year to complete it even if he works from dawn to dusk every day. But by using a plowing machine, he could probably do the same job in a day.

Hard work pays all the time, no matter what you do. But smart work always beats hard work hands down.

#9 Enjoy your present. It’s the little moments you experience everyday that come together to make your life. But don’t forget to plan your daily activities keeping your future in mind. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]

#10 Positive thinking is happiness. Positive thinking makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel more confident and gives you the strength to face any hurdle in life. As long as you fill your mind with positivity, it will help you achieve your dreams and will keep you happy every day.

#11 Negative thinking will make you a failure. A person who fills their mind with nothing but negative thoughts will never be happy, because they’re too obsessed with thoughts on how bad the world is.

When you think about someone or something with negativity, it drains your energy and fills you with negativity, which will repel happy people away from you. And most importantly, you need to remember that the grudge, anger or hate you hold against someone will never affect that person. It will only affect you and hurt you. [Read: Signs your negative thinking is ruining your life]

#12 It’s never the end of the world. It’s never too late to start afresh, and it’s never too late to be what you might have been. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed or how deep in the pits you are today. All it takes is the determination and the effort to put one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you’ll be exactly where you want to be.

#13 Don’t worry. Worrying about something over which you have no control over will never help you. Remember this line, worry is interest paid on trouble before it’s due. It doesn’t matter whether you worry or not, when something has to happen, it will. So will you worrying about something change the outcome? Of course not! So really, why are you worrying?

#14 Accept failure. A big life lesson you need to learn is to learn to accept failure now and then. Failure doesn’t make you weak, in fact, it helps you understand the reasons behind your failure better. Every time you fail, try to learn something from it so you never repeat the same mistake ever again.

The stronger the breeze, the mightier the oak becomes. When you experience failure, your success will taste sweeter. After all, you can’t appreciate true happiness until you have known sadness, can you? [Read: 12 steps to be perfect in everything you do]

#15 Be happy in your life. There are many of us who are tireless naggers. Do you find yourself feeling miserable no matter what you do? Learn to appreciate life and try to be happy with what you have, because there are many others who are less fortunate than you.

Sometimes, it takes losing something to truly understand how special it was to you. Don’t learn that from a failed experience because it can hurt a lot. Instead, learn it by looking all around you. When you realize how lucky you are, you’ll be thankful for what you have and lead a happier life.

#16 Arguments and relationships. Immature people always want to win an argument even at the cost of a relationship. Mature people understand that it’s always better to lose an argument and win a relationship.

You may not realize this, but arguments are constructive only when it ends with a better understanding of each other’s minds. Winning counts for nothing, because you’d only make the other person feel more hurt or angry. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship]

#17 The world is not unfair. If you think the world is unfair to you alone, then you’re a coward and a liar. It’s easy to look for excuses to dwell in your misery, and avoid moving on in your life. When you’re pushed to a corner, learn to push back and make your own space. Crap happens all the time, but what you do to move on makes all the difference between a strong minded person and a weak one.

#18 Money isn’t everything. Your pursuit of wealth and material happiness can definitely give you pleasure. But at the end of the day, relationships and inner satisfaction will give you more meaning to life than a fat bank balance. Ask a billionaire that question and they’ll say the same thing.

What kind of a paycheck do you think you need to experience financial freedom and happiness? Plan your life and work towards that goal. If you can do better than that, well, good for you. But when you achieve that monetary figure, instead of devoting your life to earning more, focus on your relationships. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better?]

#19 Life is no fun unless you take chances. A life without a bit of risk isn’t a life worth living. You can’t go through life protecting yourself from everything just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Sometimes, break free from your routine. It’ll give you more happiness than you think.

#20 You will never ever be satisfied in life. This is a life lesson you need to keep in mind because this is one you’ll forget most easily. As humans, we’re greedy and always want more, no matter what we already have.

If you truly want to feel satisfied in life, don’t let monetary goals define your life’s successes. Instead, focus on happy moments and the experiences you’ve had.

#21 Love yourself. If you hate yourself or feel like you’re no good, you’ll never truly achieve your true potential in your life. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not just to fit in. Instead, work on your perceived flaws and be the best person you can be. When you love yourself, you’ll feel more confident about yourself and your abilities. [Read: How to love yourself and become a much better you]

#22 Your future is in your hands alone. This is a life lesson that should be ingrained deep within you. You control your own future. And what you do today can change your future forever.

Living each day like it’s your last may not be the best way to plan your future. Instead, make each day in your life feel like an achievement. You’ll achieve greatness in your life only when you make each day in your life count for something valuable.

#23 Take a decision. Postponing a decision will only make your life more worrisome and troubled. Remember, there are just two choices in every obstacle or confusion you face in life. You can either walk away, or you can pursue on.

So instead of letting your worries mount up and distract you all the time, make up your mind and move on with a firm decision.

#24 Don’t blame another person. When you put the blame on someone else even though you were involved in the failure, you’re only limiting your own growth, especially in relationships. Learn to accept failure and mistakes gracefully instead of arguing about it. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and others around you]

#25 Have principles in life. This is the most important lesson in life that you need to learn. Your principles in life give you your identity and define who you are. Sometimes, it’s easy to be judgmental or do something you’ll regret later. You may even cheat a friend or take advantage of someone else’s misfortune, and as thrilling as the idea may be at that moment, you may feel bad about what you did when the excitement dies down.

That’s where setting clear principles in life can make all the difference. When you have set principles and rules about what you feel is morally right and wrong, and follow it in everything you do, it’ll make you a better human being and give you a clean conscience. Just remember to be just in your principles though, and understand that the rules that you apply for everyone else around you has to be followed by you too.

Experience is the best teacher of important lessons in life. But if you keep these 25 life lessons in mind and use them every day, you can avoid the pain of bitter experiences and lead a happier and more fulfilling life sooner than you think.

The Many Shades of Love

The Many Shades of Love 

By Jodi Jones

The questions brought to my attention a few months ago were “what is love?” and “how do you know if you love someone?”  After months of thought, I found a comprehensive answer to this question.  There are a few points to remember when considering love though.  First, love is a feeling. It is not a relationship or a marriage or a friendship. It is a deep feeling inside one’s heart.  Second, to be “in love” with someone and to “love” someone are two different feelings.  Third, in order to love, one has to have the capacity to truly and genuinely love another person before they can fall in love.  Believe it or not, there are actually people out there who don’t have that ability. 

There are different kinds of love but in this instances, I am referring to romantic love, or to be “in love” with someone.  I’m not talking about the kind of love we feel for our parents, children, or pets, or favorite foods, movies, or actors. 

True love is very deep. It is not a shallow feeling and it doesn’t come easily.  You can’t quickly come into love and you don’t quickly fall out of love with someone.  I remember girls in high school, writing all over their notebooks I love so-n-so; only to dump that person and find a new boyfriend and then they’d have to scratch out the first guy’s name. You don’t truly love someone that quickly, and that’s why adults always scoff at teenagers “in love”.  That’s basically no more than liking someone. 

True love requires trust and understanding. Love is complicated. Love is not that someone doesn’t get on your nerves.  It’s not that simple, and everyone is going to get on your nerves if you spend enough time with them.  Yet you can’t truly love someone until you spend a lot of time with that person.  Anyone can be fake for a few hours a day or a few hours a week.  Anyone can pretend to be something they’re not for a while, but they can’t pretend forever, so eventually, the real person will come to the surface.  And when you truly love someone, you will love the real person.

            You can easily love the “idea” of a person.  You can easily love being in love.  You can easily love certain qualities about a person. You can love their “thoughtfulness” or their “understanding” or “compassion”.  But they may also be selfish, cranky or downright cold sometimes.  But to love someone means to love the real person and to love the whole person.  You can’t only love someone when they are happy or in a good mood.  To love someone is to love them for who they really are, and to love them on good days and bad days, in good moods and bad moods.  Love is true and faithful and never-ending. Love is kind and patient.  Love is not selfish; it is selfless.  Love is not a material possession either. You can’t love someone for their money, status, or job in life.  If that’s the case then you really just love money, status or job titles and not the real person.  Love means loving that person if they had nothing or if they had everything.  When you love someone, you don’t want anything material from them.  That’s not why you love them.  You love them because you accept them for who they are. 

            Love is not flaky and it’s not like a mood swing. It doesn’t just come and go.  Love isn’t something that you say just because the other person said it.  Love doesn’t lose interest in you. Love doesn’t leave you just because you’re not feeling well today.  Love changes and doesn’t always stay the same, but it’s not shallow.  You can fall in and out of love with someone, but genuine love never ends.  True love doesn’t end.  Love means putting that person’s happiness above your own.  You want that person to be happy whether they are with you or not with you.  Love means wanting the person to be successful – not for what it means for you but for what it will mean for them.  Love means putting the other person’s needs ahead of your own needs.  If they need something that you have the ability to give, then you will give it – not even consciously. And it won’t upset you that you have to give it because you want to give it.  You want to give them anything that you have simply because you truly love them.  Love means meeting that other person’s needs as they strive to meet your needs. 

Love doesn’t happen over night. It takes time to develop because then you will get to know the real person and you will see if you love that true person or if you merely loved the idea of that person.  Love doesn’t require you to change who you are. Love accepts you for who you are.  Love is not easy but it should not be hard.  Love takes work and it takes nourishment, it takes sacrifice and compromise.  Love should add to your life – not take away from your life through changing.  Love shouldn’t be your whole life either; it’s a part of your life.  Love is not who you are.  Love requires work and sacrifice, but if it is what you want, then it is not a job or a chore to you.  The reward of being in love and being loved by the person that you love makes everything that you do while with them worth every second of it.  Love requires give and take with both people giving and both taking.  Love cannot last if one person is always giving while they other person is always taking.  It’s good for the taker, but the giver will eventually get tired of giving and the relationship will end or the giver will seek his/her needs to be met elsewhere.  Love is not good sex, although the best sex happens with the person you are deeply and truly in love with.  All couples come to a point where the sex gets old, routine, and boring. If you truly love the person then you will do what is required to make it better for both of you, and it will not be bad for you.

Sacrifices aren’t really sacrifices when you do them for the person that you love.

Love is not jealous – people are jealous.  Love requires that you trust the other person and you trust his/her love for you.  You can’t truly and wholeheartedly love someone that you do not trust. 

Love is not hard, but worthwhile.  Love is never easy but it is the most wonderful thing with the right person.  Love is strange and sometimes impossible.  Everyone wants to feel loved, but not everyone wants to put forth the effort required to love another person.  Love is different from anything else in the world, yet it is the best thing in the world also.  True love takes a long time to develop.  It is easy to get feelings for someone or to like someone, but when you love them, it’s very different from just liking them. 

To love them requires that you love them all the time, not just sometimes.  Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that everyday is going to be like a fairy tale.  Reality is that few days are like fairy tales. It is very hard to grasp what it means to truly love another person and to truly be in love with another person.

True love isn’t something that you seek out. It isn’t something that you force. It isn’t something that you deceive the other person into feeling.  It isn’t something that you can force on someone.  For someone to truly love you, you must love yourself as well.  You must know that you are a wonderful person and not need someone else to tell you that you are wonderful. 

Love means wanting the other person to have everything he/she wants in life. Love means to share with the other person as well. You want to share your life with them, you don’t want to give up your life to be with them.  You want them to be part of your life. And when you find the right person to love, they will fit into your life – seamlessly and almost effortlessly.  Although it takes work to keep the love alive and “hot” as it is when it’s first starting, it is very easy to do this when you truly love the other person.  Part of loving someone is communicating with them also.  If you don’t communicate with them about your needs, your life, and your thoughts, then they can’t love the real you but merely the parts of you that you are showing them. 

Happy Birthday, my brother

Happy birthday to my favorite (and only) brother, who was born an hour or so ago, 31 years ago, today. I remember that night quite well as I was quickly thrown out of my dad's truck and into my mom's oldest brother Jim & his wife Jennie's duplex in Tuxedo as my parents rushed off to the hospital and my brother was born around 1AM. I was excited and I have felt protective of him since then.

As I won't ever have kids of my own, excluding my furry butts, I guess he's the only one I have influenced as he grew up, and I could not be prouder of him. He's turned out way better than me. LOL. That's what learning from my mistakes will get you: a great wife and a fantastic life. HAHA!!

I love him with all my heart and would do anything for him.

Wow, I never thought I'd live to say, "thirty-one years ago today..."

Happy birthday, Zach!

What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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What is your Passion?

I wrote this for an article in Fuzzfurr in 2006.

What is your Passion?

By Jodi Jones

November 2006

Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. – Mary Lou Retton

What do you want your legacy to be?  Although I don’t generally like to think of my impending death, I found the question intriguing and it didn’t take me very long to discover my response: for people to say, “I am a better person for having known her.” To some that might seem like a lofty goal, but I would never be satisfied by having low aspirations. I do not shoot for mediocrity.  I am not a mediocre person; I will not settle for a mediocre life.  Having an extraordinary life is what I want.

Everyone is motivated, inspired, and driven by something.  Some people are driven by power, money, success, evil, hatred, love, religion, marriage, children, God, or family.  At age 85, legendary artist Michelangelo said, “Ancora Imparo” which means “I am still learning.”  How inspiring to know that someone as remarkable as Michelangelo would say that, when others consider him to be a “genius”.  Learning has always been a passion of mine.  Everyday I strive to learn something new and grow as a person. 

Opening the minds of others to a new thought, idea, opinion, or viewpoint is one of the best feelings.  It is truly rewarding when someone says, “I never thought of it that way.”  Wherever I end up in life, I aim to make a difference to and for others.   I want to open people’s minds; broaden their horizons; change their perspectives; make them think differently; and inspire them to want to learn.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” which is truer than people think.  Why do we believe what we do? Why do we feel as we do? Why do we want what we do?  We should know why – or at least want to know why.  We should be able to defend all of our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs.  Why are you who you are? 

I am puzzled by those who wish to remain the same forever; those who do the same thing over and over expecting different a different result; those who believe the same things as someone else but do not know why. If you look at the world at 40 the same way you did when you were 20, then you have wasted 20 years.  Personal growth and profound knowledge are goals set deep in my soul. Certainly I have other goals, but all other goals come from that deep urge to learn, love, and inspire.  I want it for myself and for others.  I want people to want to think for themselves, not to be led by others.  I want them to know why they feel as they do, why they want what they do, and why they hold the opinions they do. 

If I can for a single moment give someone else a thought they never had, and if I am able to open their minds about something – anything at all – then I have absolutely helped them grow and become a better person… simply by having known them.

“While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness” – Gilda Radner

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